I’ve been studying everyday at the library for two hours each day for the SAT’s not including school work. My dad asks why we’re leaving a little early today. I’m leaving early to support my friend’s basketball game and he says “That’s not important. Look at your cousin, hes a genius.” This was when it struck me.

Are you fucking kidding me? Not supporting friends and to take a small break from 2-3 weeks of hitting this textbook EACH day? I straight up told him that i’m his son and i’m NOT him. And he tells me i need to study more? I swear my family thinks i’m a huge retard for some reason. First of all he doesn’t even believe in friends, what kind of mindset is that in life? If he didn’t throw away his marriage with my mom for fucking whores, maybe he’d still be successful. My dad’s been homeless for the past two years living at my aunt’s house and HIM of all people is telling me to study harder? I’ve been busting my ass to make HIM and my family happy and all he does is get mad at me for not filling in my brother’s shoes. 

I’m sick of trying to impress my family, no matter how hard i study, no matter what i DO i will never get to that level where i’m appreciated for who i am as a son. I can guaranteed i’m never going to put my children on the spot and compare them to others. They are going to be their own individuals and NOTHING is going to change that.